:p

[madd74]

:sigh: I am so dead tired I think I am going to pass out. J woke nice and early today, and I did not ever get a nap. I feel like I am not alive. We are busy as shit. I am testing a line right now. So... anything you write, be advice, could be delay.

[madd74]

well, that asshole who I was talknig to for over 11 minute sure woke me up, so no worries, I should be wake enought o drive home :grumble:

[cmplxty7]

welcome to my world. I hardly ever get naps - usually just on a Friday when I am off & pick him up early enough that he hasn't napped yet. Otherwise I have to wait until I get him to bed (which tonight, was just now).

I had a lot I wanted to write, but most of it is going to be moot anyway, and I would rather not ruffle feathers unnecessarily. You already know I am frustrated and already mostly know why...and still seem to come across as I should just be fine with everything, so it seems to me that saying anything isn't going to matter anyway.

[madd74]

this is not some sort of compitition, that you otherwise make it sound. i am suer we both have lots that we would like to write to each other. i do not think you should up and just be fine with everything. i feel you should learn to let some things go. it is like every single little thing, you let get to you, and then you usually lash that out on me. i can only take so much

[cmplxty7]

You are right - it is not a competition, and I did not mean to make it sound to be. However, there are severe inequalities between us in this relationship and I will keep fighting for those to be evened out. You have no idea how glad I am that I also get to sleep in one day a week now. However there are still quite a few things that I seem to always get the shit end of the stick on.

You know, I can only take so much, too. And I do not lash out about every little thing. And this business with your family visiting is not some little thing, ok. It's been all you and them from the first day - I have not mattered a bit, because I am not part of the family? Because that is how it makes me feel. I have a life I am trying to have, too. And I have had to rearrange it at least 3 times now because of all this that I was never included in in the first place. You have not heard MOST of how I feel because I do not want to hurt your feelings or piss you off. But nobody in this whole situation seems to give a rat's ass about my feelings at all and, to be blunt, I'm fucking sick of it.

I WANT your mom and family to visit and see the baby and stuff. I do not want to clear my slate for 3 days for people to show up 2 days later than that and have to clear 3 more days. I do not want to feel like my feelings do not matter in this home. I want to be included in decisions to plan events like this. I do not want you to disregard my hurt feelings about it all like you have been and tell me I just need to let it go. If you want my support in decisions like this then you have to support me, too. I will support your wanting to have a family reunion if you will support my wanting a certain level of presentability for our home.

And stop acting like I am in the wrong the way I feel. The moment you made that decision with your mom without saying you'd talk to me about it first (not like I would ever say no - it is just the principle of the matter), you made me feel like a tenant of yours, instead of someone in a relationship with you and sharing a home with you.

[madd74]

see other post when i finish it's reply

[cmplxty7]

All your other post said regarding this one is that you aren't going to reply. I would rather you did, but if you don't feel like it I guess you won't.