MWF

Dear, I am very sorry to inform you that a schedule change is in the works for me. It appears I will be working late. Before you get all bent out of shape, I want to go over some information.

If you go to news.google.com and put in Qwest, you will notice that the second thing (time of this writing) involves job cuts. Qwest is closing a lot of different centers down, and offering a bunch of people a buy out. We have an entire screening center that is going to close. It is St Paul. They have the option to come to the repair center here.

Well, the other thing in closing some of the centers is Des Moines is getting more work. Of the work coming here, I am going to end up trained for what is called QCCC work, dealing with wholesale customers. They require people have late hours to do this job. If I end up getting it and end up hating it, then I will switch to earlier hours (assuming I don't lose my job over it :rolls eyes: )

I know how much this will frustrate you. If I get the job, one of the things I will look into is maybe having a day or so moved to earlier hours, if possible. As this is all new and stuff, a lot of management and RAS are not exactly sure what is going on.

So, instead of dwelling on the bad news, I want to focus on the positive.

• if I get the job, eventually my hours will shift from 1530 - 2400 and then 1630 - 0100, meaning more time for Jarin to be with his parents, and possibly the ability to see you and give you a big hug BEFORE I go to work
• I imagine at some point later they will find that working that late is not required for everyone, and when that happens I will look into having some of my hours cut back, and maybe even focus one whole day on being out as early as my seniority will allow
• job security being trained even more work
• the more training I have, the better ability to be able to get a new job opening when it come down the road

I realize with how much you dread being up attempting to take care of Jarin that this news will be viewed as negative for you, and I want you to know that I really am sorry about it as well. It is because of me knowing how you would like me home earlier that I will work as best as I can to eventually get some better time off. Plus, on the bright side, on days I would work at 1630 I would get to spend some time with you before I went to work.

I have been informed that the actual training starts Nov 10th. I am not sure how that training entails, as to time frame, but I shall keep you posted as best as I can.

I love you, dear, and again, am very sorry.

First, I want you to know that I am sorry about how I react negatively to this news...to the point that you feel you have to apologize for things you can't control. I DO understand you cannot control these changes (and yes, I have heard on the news that Qwest is cutting jobs & was wondering why you hadn't mentioned it). With that, please understand that my sentiments toward Qwest are not likely to change, and while most of my frustration lies with them, a small part of it is with the fact to you choose stay with them.

With that being said, you know I am dying to rant - so here goes

This is a shitty time of year to be messing with people's schedules like that. It is hard enough to schedule time for the holidays and arrange for back-up babysitting and whatnot without having to deal with not even knowing when you are going to work. Also, I can barely deal with Jarin being up until you get home now. If you switch to late nights like that again I am going to put him to bed earlier. Which sucks for YOU because he would be up earlier after you have to work later...the whole reason we had him on a later schedule is because of your schedule. But I cannot physically or mentally accommodate that. Also, this is NOT a step closer to working an earlier shift - nowhere close. It is going in the wrong direction. I know that 2000 is still pretty late, but it allows us a little more social freedom and a little more time to see each other (though not so much lately since I've been so tired). This is going to go back to being like it was before, and I hated that so much!!! I am dreading it just thinking of it (plus I am already a bit worked up over my own news from work today - will make a new post for that). I know you THINK we will see each other more, but not really. At least now, if I can manage to stay up, I can watch a show with you or visit with you some. I will never see you with that kind of schedule, except maybe on some days long enough to say hi and bye.

I am feeling upset about this right now, and I know you expected it to be as such, so please bear with me.

The main thought in my head right now is that I did not sign up for this. I wanted a family - family time, family activities, family meals. Please don't take this the wrong way, because I do love you and appreciate you and who you are to me...this is just how I am feeling now. If I wanted to be a single mom I would go do it in my own home with my own schedule. You know I do not think your company is family-friendly, and why would I? We have meals together like twice a week, and that is when we have days off together and are both worn out and just go eat out. We haven't sat at our dining room table since Jarin's birthday. You aren't here for beggar's night, we can't go to family night at the mall, we can't go for evening walks, Jarin's never been to church, you can't hardly get time off, and a lot less gets done around here because we are pretty much both single parents for half a day. And honestly I think you get the better half of the day, when you are both up from a good night's sleep. Anyways, I am just not cut out to be alone all the time (which you also know) - ESPECIALLY when I am not "alone". You get off at midnight or 1 and I get up around 530 to get ready for work, I am gone all day, then you have to go before I get home or right when I get home, and I have to be in bed before you get home again.

The frustrating part for me is not understanding WHY you stay. Why you put up with it...what is in it for you in the end? I know you seem to think it is best for Jarin to be with one of his parents more often, but is it? He barely sees his parents together ever. He's had one or two meals at our family table (and that was family holidays). What is so great about Qwest that you are willing to give up, and make your family give up, all that family time? If you and I are to stay together, then we are as much family to each other as we are to Jarin. But I feel like you think the only one that it is important to spend time with or worry about is Jarin. I am here, too. So please tell me what it is about your job that keeps you there! Is it the retirement? How many people there actually make it to retirement without getting let go? When can you retire? After 20 years of service? I am pretty sure I cannot do this for another 10 years! Like I said, I love you very much, and I do want to be with you. But I did not sign up to pretty much be a single parent when I'm not. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't - then it wouldn't matter so much. I think that we are both pretty sure that my not working is not an option.

If it was realistic for me to work the same schedule as you, I would do it. But in two more years he will be in pre-school. Then kindergarten. Then 12 years of school. And it is not feasible for parents to work nights when their kids are in school. I want our kid(s?) to have their parents at school activities, extracurricular activities, etc. Unfortunately, those things don't happen at 1am. I know that is a few years off, but it seems this is a huge step in the wrong direction. From what I know of Qwest it may never go in the right direction. And to be honest, I don't have the commitment from you that makes it worth it to go through all this. What I have is a boyfriend who I never see. That is barely a step up from being single. Every time we get settled into a new schedule of yours, it changes! It is the most fucked up job I have ever known. And what kills me is they don't appreciate what you do for them, or what your family goes through for them. They don't care how good you are for them or how loyal you are. They fuck people over all the time, and they don't care. Because if they did, the least they could do is give you a set fucking schedule.

I can't do anything but rant right now, and I am sorry because I know it's unnecessary since you already know how I feel about them. But I am so upset I am crying. And I just wish you had a good explanation as to why your job is worth all this. If my company were to fuck me around like that I would tell them to fuck off and fuck someone else over. With the news I got today, that may be the case in 4 months, we'll see (another post). I know you get paid damn well and have good benefits - but at what cost does that money come? If Jarin is the only loved one you are concerned about, then I guess it is at no cost yet.

I love you and thank you for letting me rant. And I do appreciate the way we get to live because of the money you make. But I do not want to live like this if it means giving up other things I think are more important. No matter how much I LIKE all the THINGS, this lifestyle will not make me HAPPY. And right now our child is unhappy so I have to go. I will try to get another post made regarding what we were told at work today. And I will try to not be freaking out when you get home. And I love you.