stressors

[cmplxty7]

In case you care (I say that because I have mentioned that I am extremely stressed lately and you do not ask me about it ever), here are some things that I have been dealing with pretty much on my own lately.

My mom had an angiogram Friday. I remember when you mom was going ot have one and you were totally stressed about it and upset with me not being understanding. When I mentioned my mom having one you had no response at all. The worst-case-scenario thing that I have - that comes from her. So all week I get to think about her having just told me that "if there is a blockage they will put a stint in, and it is really bad when they get in there then they would do open heart surgery".

Work is sucking a lot lately. Our manager is awful, the money is hard to find and management doesn't seem to care, people are dropping left and right and most of the ones leaving are the ones that have knowledge the rest of us need and do not have yet. I do not have faith they will hire to replace them, which will make the rest of our goals go sky-high to make up for it. Almost every part of me wants to jump ship now. Except I do not like to job-hop - I put pressure on myself to ensure a certain job stability. And at this point I am on management's good side. I may not like the way they do their job, but they sure like the way I do mine - and that puts me that much closer to a management job sometime in the future.

Jarin. I know he will be a stressor in one way or another for the rest of my life. His car seat does not fit properly in my car - it keeps sliding down/back and I have to have it resting on the backs of the front seats for it to be in proper position. If I am ever in an accident, even just a minor one that is just a jolt, he is not safe from injury. I have never prayed more than I have with him riding in my car everyday. And where the hell are his teeth?!

Christmas. This one is obvious. It's not the cleaning (yet). It's the arranging, planning, picking everything, decorating, etc. all by myself. Christmas has always been a time to get into the spirit and enjoy it and have fun and make it fun for the kids, and I feel like I am alone in that this year at home. And I KNOW I am going to have to deal more with my mom wanting to know why we aren't getting married or when we are. With all the issues we obviously have, that is one thing I am very close to exploding on.

And there are, of course, many more that build up...but those are the main ones.